Inner ramblings of my brain.

I don’t really know where I am going to go with this post but I couldn’t get it out of my head that I had not been on here in forever and I had the sudden urge to write. Even if I don’t know what I want to write about.

When I first started this blog – I was supposed to document my little Jace growing up and apparently raising him has kept me very busy and I completely forgot about that idea. But here I am again – at least for now. Jace will now be 2 in about 4 months and he will also be a big brother in a little over 5 months! So I am about to get very, very busy.

On top of getting prepared for having another baby to love – I am hoping to go back to school this Fall. But, oh boy does that make me nervous. I have never been the best in school or the biggest fan of going. I got through high school simply by just doing my homework every night – even though I bombed all the test out of pure nervousness. I did manage to graduate and then continued onto a community college simply because that is what you do after high school – go to college – and of course, everyone just expected me to go. In the end I ended up missing a lot of classes and not really paying attention or appreciating the learning experiences I had in front of me. During the first trimester I scored a pretty good job in the HR department for one of the biggest hospitals in my area. After a few months and as my school semester came to an end – I promoted up and just stopped going to school – and never went back.

Looking back – I’m actually glad that I stopped going because I wasn’t going for me. Nor did I have any clue what I wanted to do with my life. Now, 4 or 5 years later I think I know what I want to do. My husband and I want to take a leap and open up our own daycare. His dream has always been to own his own business and be his own boss and I’ve always wavered between wanting to be a teacher and wanting to do something in business so this seems like the perfect idea to meet both of our needs. To top it all off – we actually like each other and get along incredibly well and I truly think that we can pull it off. Under one condition…I stop letting my fear hold me back.

I am so scared that I am going to fail or not be good enough to do this. What if when I go back to school – I do horrible and take forever to graduate even just with my associates degree?

Or if we do get as far as actually opening up our own daycare and no one enrolls their children? Why would they want their child to go to my daycare? What makes mine better than another?

All these insecurities run though my head when I thinking about it. But yet the other day – I was speaking to a coworker about our dream of opening up a daycare and I sounded so confident and sure in the decision that I almost made myself believe that we can actually do this and make it a reality. All we have to do is take that first step – me going back to school.

I just have to remember that the key to having a successful daycare – is to make it a place that I would send my own children too. I want my teachers and students to feel like a family to me. I want it to be a safe place for my students to come everyday and where the parents feel confident when dropping off their kids. I plan to hire teachers who don’t apply just for a job but because they love children and making a difference in their lives each day and who will treat those kids as if they are their own. That is what will make our daycare different than others out there.

Alright well enough of my rambling. Those of you who made it to the end – thank you for reading.  🙂

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